


Voices Carry

by TheShinySword



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But it's the angst of being a dense teen, Complete, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Rated T for Teen Hormones, Romance, secret make outs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-01-02 19:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21166778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShinySword/pseuds/TheShinySword
Summary: Everything in Tomoe's life was going alright until she kissed Himari (or maybe Himari kissed her?), now they're sneaking behind their friends' backs trying to figure what it means to secretly make out with your best friend. It's fine, it's fine, it's definitely fine, after all, kissing doesn't count if you're not in love, right?





	1. The First Time

Tomoe Udagawa’s life had been going great until the day she turned into a giant pervert.

To be fair, Tomoe couldn’t exactly pinpoint the day she’d become a slave to her raging teenage hormones. It didn’t feel like a switch had flipped, more like she’d been walking down a very steep hill and then suddenly realized she’d gone over a cliff. In the beginning she’d just started noticing certain things about her friends. The way Ran’s hair stuck to the back of her neck after a set. How Moca ran her hands down the neck of her guitar. Tsugumi’s—well not Tsugumi, thinking about Tsugu like that felt like a war crime. Then it crept past the band. Her friends became collections of parts to focus on. Everyone, everywhere, all the time. Lisa’s nails, Sayo’s hair, Kaoru’s… whole thing.

Tomoe had never been very familiar with her imagination until puberty introduced them in the worst way. She didn’t really know what it meant, except that she was probably a creep and definitely a lesbian. Definitely being a lesbian didn’t bother Tomoe. She knew she probably should put some thought into it but that didn’t stop her from packing that topic up in a little box and jamming it on the mental shelf with a hundred other emotions she should probably get around to unpacking.

The creep thing bothered her. A lot. It was bad with her friends, and it was awful with the band. But it was unbearable with Himari.

She was Himari, she was a talented bassist, a steadfast leader, a bubbly sweetheart, all hey hey hohs and weird felt toys she put way too much effort into. She was Tomoe’s best friend, and yet she was still full breasts and thick thighs.

Himari who walked side by side with Tomoe every day, clinging to her arm, keeping her so so close.

Himari who looked at Tomoe with glimmering green eyes filled with so much care and trust.

All the while Tomoe—

All the while Tomoe…

Himari who was sprawled out on Tomoe’s bed completely oblivious to the self-inflicted torment her best friend was going through.

Tap tap tapping her phone with the pads of her fingers. Himari was a normal fixture in Tomoe’s room on their rare free afternoons. Theoretically, they were studying together but Himari had basically given up on her studies somewhere in middle school. Mostly Himari lounged, occasionally curling like a cat around Tomoe’s chair to thrust something interesting in her face, a joke, a pretty picture, her chest. The last one wasn’t intentional but it was becoming all Tomoe noticed. She didn’t get much studying done anymore either.

There Himari was, nibbling the end of her thumbnail in the corner of Tomoe’s eye, the little bud of her tongue flicking around. The tip of her tongue on the tip of her thumb. The words in Tomoe’s textbook blurred.

Tomoe squeezed her eyes shut. Don’t think about it, she reminded herself, don’t think about her. It was a half-hearted mantra and the void behind her eyelids wasn’t much defense against her imagination. She could still sense Himari behind her, still picture her lying on that bed.

Tomoe’s bed. Lying there so casually, pink pigtails splayed against the pillow, her school jacket discarded and her shirt untucked, starting to just barely ride up. Pale skin against red cloth. It would be so easy to just walk over and press her hands into those sheets.

Press Himari into those sheets.

Tomoe forced her eyes open and stared hard at her desk, feeling her cheeks catch fire. She gripped her chin hard enough to hurt. Maybe Tomoe looked like she was focused on the work in front of her. Maybe. She inhaled sharply. Air for clarity.

Clarity didn’t come.

Himari would say Tomoe’s name in that sweet way, holding tight to that last e, squeezing all the sound out of it. But it’d have a whole new meaning, whispered breathlessly as Tomoe lowered her “okay?” face down.

Himari would reach up, one hand between Tomoe’s shoulders, holding her tight, the other tangled in her hair “Tomoe?” pulling, gripping, stroking. Their bodies press together. Wait, were they lying down now? Tomoe struggled to keep up with her fantasy. Whatever. Where was she—

“Tomoe!”

“Eh?” Abruptly, Tomoe found herself twirled around as Himari spun her chair.

“I was just seeing if you’re okay,” Himari leaned forward, pushing her hands into the armrests on either side of Tomoe’s chest. “It’s cold season again. Maybe it’s catching up with you?”

“Ah ha,” Tomoe laughed, unconvincingly, “I’m sure it’s nothing like that.”

“Too bad for you! I’m a great nurse! You’re really missing out~” Himari winked.

Tomoe glanced away but Himari followed, ducking into her eye line with a curious expression.

“Are you sure you’re not sick?”

“You know me, I’ve always run hot. All the… passion.”

“Tomoe! If you’re not feeling okay you have to tell me!” Himari pouted, reaching out before Tomoe could stop her and sweeping away the redhead’s bangs to feel her forehead.

Tomoe’s skin burned like fire. The places where Himari’s fingers touched radiated with a brilliant heat, spreading down, down to her cheeks, to her chest. An agonizing moment passed before Tomoe pulled Himari’s hand away. “I’m fine.”

But she didn’t let go.

“Hmm,” Himari hummed. Green eyes studying blue for some sort of sign. “Then what’s up with...” She trailed off.

For one suspended moment Himari was right there, barely a breath between them. The chair creaked underneath Tomoe, was she moving further away or closer to her? They were so close, so so close.

And someone kissed someone but they couldn’t tell who.

Himari was so much softer than Tomoe could have imagined.

On the plus side, Tomoe was too surprised to panic. Some primal kissing instinct volunteered to take over as her mind short circuited. The was no reason to her actions, just an animal desire for more. To be closer.

And closer. Tomoe tugged Himari’s hand, still clasped in her own, inwards towards her heart. Closer. Himari’s free hand grasped at the drummer’s shoulder, twisting her shirt. Closer. Tomoe leaned back, Himari followed, leaning her knee in the small space on the chair between Tomoe’s legs. So achingly close.

Leaning the chair back, back, back—

CRACK. The chair shuddered underneath them, granting just enough warning to let the two untangle and escape before it totally collapsed. Time spun back into motion.

Tomoe suddenly found herself on the floor with only a broken desk chair and the slightest taste of strawberry on her lips as proof anything out of the ordinary had happened. Well that and her disheveled best friend desperately trying to hide in plain sight. Himari’s face and her hair were the same color, her eyes fixed on the floor.

BAM BAM BAM! Someone hammered at the door.

“Sis! I heard a loud noise. You guys okay in there?” Ako. Tomoe’s little sister’s voice drained the tension from the room.

Tomoe had to laugh, “Just the chair Ako. It’s all fine.” She glanced over at Himari, not quite able to meet her eyes, “It’s fine, right?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah! It’s fine!” Himari tried to pull herself back together, not meeting Tomoe’s eyes. “Well not the chair. The chair is not fine!”

“Okay?” Ako sounded suspicious, “You need any help?”

“Actually, I was just thinking I should get home,” Himari jumped to her feet. Tomoe scrambled up to help but Himari dodged for the door. “See you tomorrow!” She squeaked, bowing, of all things, before throwing open the door and dashing out past Ako.

“Hi Himari! Bye Himari?” Ako waved at the empty space Himari left in her wake. She turned on Tomoe. “Did you two fight?”

“Of course not,” Tomoe said, deeply distracted. “We don’t fight.”

“You sure? She ran out of here pretty quick,” Ako’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Thank you Ako, goodbye Ako.”

“Just say you’re sorry! It always works for me!”

Tomoe shut the door. She breathed in deeply, tapping the back of her head against the door and sinking down to the floor. Tomoe pressed her thumb to lips, trying to catch the phantom sensation. It was already a blur of color and light and sensation settling into memory.

And for a brief moment, Tomoe’s mind was quiet.

* * *

It wasn’t until much later, when Tomoe was trying to settle in to bed and lure sleep to take her away, that she remembered their actual first kiss. There’d been a slumber party, sometime in middle school, maybe first year, definitely before Afterglow, and a game of truth or dare…

“Dare!” Himari shouted excitedly to the circle of girls gathered around a stack of snacks and manga spilled on Ran’s bedroom floor.

“I dare you…” the group tightened around Tsugumi in anticipation, “...to tell the truth!”

They collectively sighed, though no one louder or more dramatically than Himari. “Tsugu! That’s not fun!”

“Tsugu~ Tsugu~” Moca wagged a finger, “A dare has to be something wild, like eating only the filling of a bun.”

“I don’t want that dare either.”

“Shouldn’t it be something like kissing?” Ran, of all people, offered.

“Woah! As expected from Ran~”

“Yeah that’s so adult!” Himari’s eyes lit up.

“Himari…” Tomoe shook her head, bemused, “you know you have to do it right?”

“Oh right!” Himari had definitely forgotten, “Umm...” She looked around nervously at her friends, “I’ll do it but only if it’s Tomoe!”

“Do you get to set conditions on dares?”

“It’s decided!” Moca clapped her hands together, nodding like a sage, “Hii-chan and Tomo-chin must kiss, the king has declared it.”

“But we’re playing truth or dare? And it’s my turn...” Tsugumi’s half-heard protests went ignored.

“Eh?” Tomoe suddenly realized the gravity of the situation she was in, “This is actually happening?”

“Hold still Tomoeeee!”

It was funny. Years later Tomoe remembered everything around the kiss, but the moment itself was lost to time. It wasn’t important, not in the grand scheme. It was just a silly little thing between friends. Between friends. It didn’t mean anything.

Afterwards, Moca, even a tease at twelve, said something like, “Hii-chan gave up her first kiss so easily~ I can’t believe it.”

And Himari stammered back, “K-kissing’s not that big a deal!” And to prove what not a big deal it was Himari pivoted and kissed Moca square on the lips too. But she wasn’t done there, she moved on to poor Ran who tried so hard to escape and Tsugumi who was just happy to be included.

And that was the story of how Himari stole all of their first kisses.

There was something else though. Something on the edge of Tomoe’s memory. Himari said something else. After everyone complained that she’d ruined them for marriage, what a childish thing to say but it felt so important at the time. What was it she said? Himari’d huffed and it’d made them all laugh and forgive everything. It was something so Himari…

As sleep finally crept onto Tomoe, the last memory slipped in:

“Kissing doesn’t count if you’re not in love.”

* * *

Himari wasn’t in school the next day.

Well that wasn’t exactly true. She was in class. Actually, she arrived exactly on time for class, so on time there was no time to pull her aside and discuss— maybe that wasn’t the kind of thing you should talk about in class anyway. It was fine, Tomoe decided, she could just wait for lunch. She could just wait three agonizing hours staring at her best friend’s back trying to figure out if they were fighting or not.

Of course they weren’t fighting! There was nothing to fight about. They’d just—tap tap tap—Tomoe drummed her pencil against the desk. They’d just kissed a little. Okay a lot—tap tap tap—well not “a lot” a lot, more “a little” a lot. A moderate amount of kissing in a way that had literally destroyed furniture—tap tap tap—but the chair was old anyway! So it was kind of like they were just taking out the trash—tap tap tap—with their mouths on each other’s mouth.

“Shh!” Someone hushed Tomoe from her right.

Tomoe jumped in her seat, dropping the pencil she’d been loudly, absentmindedly, thwacking against her desk. “Sorry.”

It’d be fine. It had to be fine. If it wasn’t fine, it’d never happen again—not that she wanted it to happen again but if it did happen that would be fine too. Tomoe switched between fighting with and assuring herself for three straight hours. She didn’t learn much English that day, or math, or really anything of any use. At least her suffering would end at lunch.

Or so it was supposed to, but the drummer took her eyes off of Himari just long enough to blink and she totally disappeared from the classroom. Tomoe tried to hunt her down but no matter how well she thought she Himari apparently it wasn’t good enough. She tried visiting their upperclassmen but Lisa hadn’t seen her and following the trail of swooning girls to Kaoru did nothing but waste time. Himari wasn’t on the roof, she wasn’t at the tennis club, she wasn’t anywhere Himari was supposed to be. Right until class began again and she neatly slid back into her desk without sparing a glance at Tomoe.

The agonizing back and forth persisted for another four hours. Tomoe realized she’d have to beg notes off Moca later when the teacher called on her and she’d just answered “Shakespeare?” It was physics class. Of course, if she asked Moca for notes Moca would get suspicious. Moca wouldn’t say anything directly but she wouldn’t have to. Moca would figure it out, Moca always figured it out. And as soon as she knew what Himari and Tomoe had gotten up to, they’d never live it down. Ran called their 5th grade teacher mom once and Moca still gave her “world’s best mom” mugs with the teacher’s face printed on it every Mother’s Day. Once Moca latched on, she never let a bit die.

It was probably best for everyone if Tomoe just flunked out of high school.

And just when she’d decided to leave school behind for good, class ended for the day. Himari was already gone, of course. There was only one thing left to do. The last resort. Tomoe checked the group calendar for maybe the second time in her life. Why were these things so tricky to figure out? What did all the emojis mean again? Tsugumi had diligently laid out her schedule, coffee cups for working at the cafe, stars for student council. Moca had put in her information as well, along with bread emojis in every hour slot on every day. Ran was totally absent, like Tomoe she couldn’t handle technology. But Tomoe’s information was all there. Himari must have added it, she was the only one who could have put it down so accurately. Tomoe smiled despite herself.

Tomoe finally managed to figure out that the day was empty for Himari, no clubs, no band practice. So unfortunately, it did absolutely nothing to help her figure out where the rogue bassist had run off.

“Tomoe!”

Tomoe tilted her head back. Himari looked down at her, pigtails dangling just above Tomoe’s nose. Oh, there she was. Wait. That was too easy. “Himari? Where were you?  
“I’m right here.”

“I mean during lunch.”

She tapped her chin with the tip of her finger, “Hmm, I don’t remember.”

Himari was a terrible liar but Tomoe didn’t press her. “Can we—”

“H-Hey Tomoe, you don’t have anything planned today do you?”

The drummer twisted in her seat so she face Himari properly, “No I don’t. You neither right? I didn’t see anything on the calendar.”

Himari’s eyes grew wide, “You checked the calendar!?” She suddenly threw her arms around Tomoe’s neck, a little too tightly and enthusiastically, just as she’d done a hundred times over. “I’m so happy.”

“What were you saying Himari?” Tomoe tried steer the conversation back on track. Tomoe watched as Himari tried to follow her own train of thought backwards. “Something about plans today?”

“That’s right! If you’re free why don’t you help me get a little extra practice in?”

“Sure,” Tomoe automatically agreed. Drums and bass could get a lot done on their own, it wasn’t unusual for the two of them to practice… alone… in the windowless, soundproof studio space. “Maybe Moca’s free too.”

“Moca has work.”

“Tsugumi—”

“Student Council.”

“And Ran has?”

“Flower arranging class. Did you really check the calendar?”

“It’s hard to read...”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Himari fidgeted with the end of a pigtail, biting her bottom lip.

Tomoe slammed her hands on her desk, leaping to her feet. “Let’s go!”

* * *

Tomoe knew how to assemble a drum kit, she’d done it a hundred times over, maybe more. She could do it blindfolded, could do it with her hands tied behind her back and only her teeth free. But today she found herself reciting the steps like it was the first time.

First, Tomoe set down the bass drum, making sure to flip the kick stand—gotta keep the drum rolling from into her best friend bent over her bass case—before she slid the foot pedal under. Then she attached the tom drums to the bass—and it was fine, it was all fine, she was not thinking about Himari’s hands carefully turning over her instrument—making sure to really screw them in tight, as tight as she could manage. Next it was the snare. The snare had it’s own stand, she just had to make sure it was making the right BuBum sound—while her eyes flickered over to watch the tiny pick bob between Himari’s lips as she twisted the tuning pegs—snare’s good, snare’s great. Move on to the hi-hat—looking at Himari looking back at Tomoe—drop the cymbals on ground and fall back on her ass, startling herself out of her trance.

“You okay, Tomoe?” Himari let her bass fall back around her neck and held out a hand to assist.

“Yeah,” the drummer accepted the help but pulled away as soon as she was standing. “Just a little off today. Maybe I’m getting sick.” Tomoe regretted her choice of excuse when memories from the night before started flooding over her like they were waiting for an excuse to pop by for a visit. This was a mistake. She couldn’t be trusted to exist like a normal person. If only Tomoe could crawl into a ditch for next three years and emerge someone not at the mercy of her own thoughts.

“Hey Tomoe,” Himari pulled a small battered notebook from her pocket. “Can you take a look at this?” She brushed a loose strand of pink hair past a red cheek. She didn’t move closer.

Tomoe took a hesitant step forward. Himari kept the notebook close to her chest, forcing Tomoe to stoop down to see. “What’s up?”

“Can you look at this part for Tied to the Skies? I’m not sure it’s working.”

Tomoe squinted at the notebook, so close her hair brushed the paper. It sort of looked like a musical score, but filled with numbers not notes. There was something familiar about it but try as she might Tomoe couldn’t make heads or tails of—Oh. Of course she couldn’t. “Himari. I don’t know how to read bass tabs.”

Himari exhaled long and slow just above Tomoe’s head. “...I knew that.”

Tomoe kept staring at the illegible paper in front of her. Himari was too kind. She was trying to change the subject, trying to move on and Tomoe kept making things worse. Tomoe had to apologize. It was worse than if they were fighting. She just had to get this weird tension to end. She just had to make the words come out of her mouth.

“About the other night,” Tomoe moved leaned away, eyes fixed on the floor. She just had to say she was sorry. “That was okay right?” That wasn’t ‘I’m sorry’. “I mean, it’s good to get good at that sort of thing,” Tomoe’s mouth had completely abandoned the plan. “It was kind of fun. A-and you’re my best friend, so if we do something like that for practice, there’s no harm right?” Tomoe grit her teeth, it wasn’t her mouth or her brain talking, this was 100% teenage hormones gone wild. “It doesn’t count if you’re not in love so… we could...” Oh no. “We could do it again?”

Silence crashed over them louder than cymbal Tomoe’d just dropped.

1, 2, 3. Tomoe counted the threads in the studio carpet, unable to bear looking at the girl to her right. 10, 11, 12. What could she be thinking? Did she hate Tomoe now? 23, 24, 25. No, Himari didn’t hate anyone, she wouldn’t start with Tomoe. Could she be disgusted? 34, 35, 36. Could they recover from such a stupid question—

“Okay.”

Eh?

Tomoe finally looked up, meeting Himari’s eyes sparkling with something unrecognizable. “You mean--"

“To be honest, I’m really relieved,” Himari winked. “It’d be pretty messed up if you were in love with me right?” She laughed loud and sharp. “We should do it right now.”

“Right now?!” Tomoe sputtered.

“We have the room so…” Himari shuffled around to face Tomoe.

“I guess that’s true.”

And yet no one moved.

“Are you gonna do it?” Himari asked innocently, head tilted to the side.

Tomoe was taken aback. “Why me?”

“You’re taller?”

“What’s the supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know! That’s how it always works in manga!”

“Is that so?”

“Fine!” Himari stomped her foot on the ground, fists clenched tight, “I’ll do it!”

“Eh?” But there was no time to think about it. Himari was coming in. Tomoe’s mind flailed about. What about the hands? What was Tomoe supposed to do with her hands? Put them on Himari’s waist? No! That was way too romantic. Around her back? Wasn’t that a hug? But if she kept them by her side would that be weird? Would she look like some kind of kissable nutcracker?

Himari was approaching quickly and Tomoe’s panic rose accordingly. There was no time to figure it out. Her arms shot out as their lips squished together. Tomoe’s hands clumsily landed on the shorter girl’s shoulders, arms fully extended like she was at a middle school dance. Her back contorted to keep their mouths connected despite the arms’ length her body seemed determined to keep between them, shoulders hunched around her ears.

Luckily, Himari didn’t seem to notice, or at least her eyes were closed. Tomoe knew this because, in her panic, she’d forgotten to close her own. The muscles in her eyes apparently no longer worked because no matter how hard Tomoe tried to close them they remained fixed open in a mild existential panic.

Tomoe tried to settle into the kiss, to recreate the lovely warmth she’d felt the previous night. Instead she felt something pushing on her lips. Wait, was that Himari’s—Tomoe’s lips parted out of a questioning reflex. Unfortunately, that passed for permission. Suddenly, there was something large, wriggling and alien between Tomoe’s teeth. Tomoe’s tongue tried to retreat but only made the awful choking sensation all the worse.

Kissing was like drumming, the more Tomoe thought about it the worse she was.

Staring at someone as they shoved their wiggly tongue down her throat was a new level of self-consciousness for Tomoe. She tried tapping out on Himari’s shoulder, until she could finally forcefully push their mouth apart enough to yell, “Tongue! Tongue!”

Himari wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Sorry, was that too much?”

Tomoe briefly wondered if French kissing was an elaborate practical joke played over generations, the sort of thing people pretend to like but actually hated. She couldn’t imagine the appeal, “I kinda thought I was going to die choking on a slug.”

“Tomoe!” Himari buried her face in her hands, squeaking between her fingers, “Don’t put it like that!”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry. Try again?”

“Not if you’re gonna call me a slug! Besides you have Zombie arms!”

“Zombie arms?!”

“It was like you were coming to eat me!”

“I got nervous!”

“Me too! If I have to think about it going in I’m gonna barf! So let’s just get it over with!”

“I don’t want to ‘just get it over with’ isn’t this supposed to be fun?”

“What do I know I’m a slug tongue...”

Tomoe looked at the girl she’d known longer than she hadn’t. Really looked at her, flushed and pouting, adorably bitter over the accidentally grave insult she’d suffered. And Tomoe couldn’t help but laugh, long, loud and hearty. She didn’t stop laughing until she collapsed to the floor, dragging Himari down with her. “What are we doing?”

“I don’t know!” Himari threw up her hands and pulled her knees to her chest.

Tomoe reached out and squished Himari’s cheeks between her palms. “What’re we doing being embarrassed around each other?”

“Kwissing isw embwarrawsing,” Himari forced out from compressed lips.

“How can anything be embarrassing between us?” Tomoe lifted her hands away and kissed Himari, just long enough to leave an impression.

She left Himari red as her own hair. “N-no fair!” Himari sputtered.

“Hmm?” Tomoe grinned.

“Why do you always have something cool to say?” Himari playfully smacked Tomoe on the shoulder.

“It’s a natural talent.”

“Talent! That’s it!” Himari clapped once.

“What’s it?”

“We have kissing talent.”

“Do we? ‘Cause I was there for the slug tongue experience.”

“To! Mo! E!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Himari huffed but continued, “The first time was good though. I think it’s like with music. We can’t think about every single note we play, we have to just trust our bodies know how to play them.”

“Yeah but we didn’t just have muscle memory, we had to practice for years to build it up.”

“…I guess we should practice then.”

“Now who’s got the cool lines,” Tomoe let her grin fade into a small smile. “Alright, this time you tilt your head to your right, and I’ll tilt to mine.”

“Ok-okay,” the word hitched but Himari listened.

They practiced for a long time. All the while Tomoe convinced herself that everything was fine. It was fine. Of course, it was fine. They were just friends. Besides, Tomoe couldn’t be in love. A person knows when they’re in love, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on some version of this story for about two months now, so I hope you'll stick with me until the end.


	2. Pork Bone Ramen

“We don’t have much time.”

“I know, I know.”

It was one thing to say Tomoe and Himari needed practice, it was another to find the time. For how often they were together, it was amazing how rarely they were actually alone.

“Seriously, Tomoe, we have like ten minutes before they get suspicious.”

“Do you want me to set an alarm?”

Tomoe loved her friends, she really did, but for the first time in her life she kind of wished that maybe they could be just the slightest bit less involved in each others’ life. Or maybe the rest of Afterglow could win one of those all-expenses paid cruise somewhere far, far away for a month.

“...No.”

“I’m setting an alarm.”

“I said no!”

“Only with your words.”

There was always band practice, or a study group, or Tsugumi’s innocent questions, or Moca’s eerie ability to just pop up out of nowhere, or Ran’s judgement eyes (to be fair, that was just Ran’s face). They only had time now because Tomoe had conveniently “forgotten” her lunch and Himari had volunteered to go get some with her. Ten minutes here, fifteen there, sneaking off to a forgotten, empty classroom in a back hallway was starting to feel like the only way they’d ever be alone again.

“We promised to get Moca bread too.”

“Right, right. Moca wants that bread.”

“We can’t deprive Moca.”

“Himari,” Tomoe pressed her hands against the wood of the desk Himari sat on, looking up with tired blue eyes and an exasperated sigh, “Please don’t talk about Moca right before I kiss you.”

“Moca would be so—”

Tomoe would never know what Moca would be and she didn’t really care. There was a clock running and a girl she wanted to kiss in front of her. Wanted to practice kissing. Which was like real kissing, but definitely somehow different. So she did.

The drummer had learned a few things in the week since they’d started their new favorite hobby. First, making out was much easier when she had something to lean on, walls, desks, chairs, anything sturdy she didn’t have to worry about putting her full strength on. Leaning with one arm let her reach the other around to cup Himari’s face, or tangle in her hair, or find her hand and just hold it, hold it tight. Himari got off lucky. No matter how they positioned themselves she always managed hold Tomoe’s shoulders—not that Tomoe was about to complain about the way Himari’s hands played with the back of her of neck.

Second, it really was like music. There’s no lead between bass and drums and there was no lead between their lips, just two people matching time best they could. They were musical partners, the foundation of the rhythm and they synced here the same way. It was something beyond thought, buried deep in souls and muscles. There were moments of embellishment, moments they’d break from their patterns to show off a little, but they’d always come back.

Third, french kissing was actually very good.

Tomoe grinned into her friend and tested her tongue at the apex of Himari’s lips. Just a little hello, just a hey how are you, can you pick up what I’m putting down? It was like throwing in an extra beat here, a little flair there and when Himari’s lips parted it was an invitation to jam, to make something new between their tongues.

Damn, making out was fun.

Himari twisted her fingers in the small hairs at the base of Tomoe’s neck. An invitation deeper. She’d happily accept—

“Pasu PaRevolution~”

Except the sudden singing made Himari go rigid.

Why? This hallway was unused, it was just a few classrooms and a bunch of club rooms no one used.

Except the astronomy club.

“Something something dream~”

Tomoe’s eyes flicked to the door. It had a window. The door had a window. Sure ,the room was dark but if you looked right inside, like if you heard a noise, there’s no way you wouldn’t see.

“Hina-senpai?” Himari wondered out loud before she could stop herself. From the look on her face, she knew she’d messed up.

Tomoe jumped into action. She tugged Himari by the wrists off the desk and to wall, her own body pressing Himari flat against it. Her hand slipped over the shorter girl’s mouth. “Shhhhhh.”

“Hmm?” Hina’s footsteps stopped.

Tomoe couldn’t have gotten closer to Himari if she tried. Her nose was buried in the fruity scent of pink hair, the skin under her palm grew warm while the other hand held Himari’s shoulder pinned against the wall. The only other thing to do was pray Hina wouldn’t look over because there was no way she could explain this away.

The moment lingered. And then it stretched out another agonizing moment. And finally…

“What even is a PasuPa Revolution? Heh.” With a sharp squeak, the footsteps picked up again and trailed into the distance.

The redhead lifted her hand away from Himari’s mouth. “Okay,” Tomoe whispered, voice growling, into the ear by her lips, “I think we’re safe.”

“A-ah...”

A small sound escaped from Himari. It was so close to her familiar groan, the sort of sound she made when Moca teased her or when Tomoe snatched food from her plate. But there was another note, a deeper note, just underneath it. It was the sort of sound that reverberated down Tomoe echoing in her ears long after it had left the air. The only word she could think to call it was erotic.

Finally, Tomoe understood what a moan could be.

Tomoe couldn’t pull away. She didn’t want Himari to see her tremble. Why was she trembling? Why couldn’t she stop trembling? Why—

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Himari scrambled out from under Tomoe and lunged for the screaming phone lying forgotten on a desk.

The drummer pushed off the wall, once again shaken out of her trance. There was always something.

“Let’s go back.”

Surely, there would always be something.

* * *

“Tomo-chin and Hii-chan return at last~ Sweet little Moca-chan has waited so long for their return,” Moca held her arms out to Tomoe and Himari as they entered the classroom. She squinted as she eyed their arms. “What’s this? Empty hands?”

“We were so hungry we ate all the food already,” Tomoe shrugged. She’d become the designated liar of the pair since Himari had so many tells she was a poker player’s dream opponent.

“You ate my bread!” Moca gasped in (probably) mock horror.

“Good, bread makes you fat,” Ran sighed from the chair beside Moca.

“Bread doesn’t make _me_ fat. I have a separate stomach for bread. An empty stomach,” the dramatic bread-fiend collapsed over her desk, apparently dead from bread deprivation.

“You already had three buns,” Tsugumi patted Moca’s back.

“Moca-chan is going to starve...”

Tomoe slid into her seat and half listened to her friends’ idle chatter. Something about a new coffee blend at Hizawa Coffee, something else about a new album Ran had heard, a third something about something that Tomoe heard but didn’t really hear because the only sound she heard was theone on repeat in her mind—

_A-ah... _

She wanted to hear it again. Tomoe wanted to grind her head into her desk, she wanted to pinch the memory out of her head. Because she needed to hear it again. She really, really, really needed to hear that moan again.

Tomoe remained a terrible listener the rest of lunch.

* * *

It seemed like every school day was getting longer. When the last bell finally rang Tomoe stretched and sighed and whipped out her phone to check the calendar. She had quickly become the second biggest devotee of the group calendar, always searching for spaces in their schedules she and Himari could slip into. That was it. Tomoe looked up from her phone and met Himari’s eyes. The bassist’s phone was hand, the caldendar app open. They both knew today was free for both of them—

“Tomo-chin~ Buy me ramen and I’ll forgive you for eating my bread~” Moca twisted around Tomoe’s shoulder, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

And Moca was free too.

Himari closed the distance between the three of them so fast Tomoe wasn’t sure she hadn’t teleported. “Whatcha doing?”

“Hii-chan?” Moca’s head tilted, “Aren’t you late for tennis practice?”

“It’s not on the calendar!”

“I already put everything important on the calendar so I don’t check it.”

“Mo! Ca!” Himari stomped the ground. “You have to check the calendar! Why else do we have a calendar?”

“Scary Hii-chan! Tomo-chin you gotta keep poor Moca-chan safe,” Moca dramatically shivered behind Tomoe’s back. “You always tell me when something interesting is happening anyway.”

“Moca, Himari and I have plans,” Tomoe craned her neck back to look at Moca.

“Hmm? But there’s nothing on the calendar, right?”

“I thought you didn’t check the calendar.”

“Hmm, sometimes it opens accidentally?” Moca rubbed her chin, it was as close as a straight answer they were going to get from her. “Well, if Tomo-chin’s free and Hii-chan’s free, we should just all get ramen.”

Tomoe hesitated, “I’m not sure...”

“Woah,” Moca gasped, “I never thought I’d live to see the day you didn’t jump at the promise of ramen. I can’t believe I’ve failed as a mother.”

“It’s not like that!” Tomoe kept her groaning internal. Moca was right. It wasn’t like Tomoe to no to ramen. If she started now she might as well just come clean about everything. The drummer glanced at Himari but she had a wide eyed caught on stage with no pants sort of terrified look on her face. It was up to Tomoe to diffuse the situation. Stuck between a bowl and a soft place. “L-let’s do it. Let’s all get ramen. Together.”

* * *

It was already mid afternoon by the time the three got to Moca and Tomoe’s usual ramen place. Saburo Ramen wasn’t exactly a beginner friendly ramen joint. With a ticket machine taller than Tomoe and at least forty different ramen selections available it was no wonder Himari totally froze the second she crossed the cloth barrier that made the entrance. Tomoe had panicked the first time she and Moca entered too, though they had been twelve at the time.

“S-so much ramen,” Himari’s eyes flicked around as she tried to take in the menu all at once. “I didn’t know there was this much ramen in the whole world.”

“This is a carefully developed menu, honed from years of careful research. You must think veeery carefully,” Moca said as she immeditely jabbed the button under a picture of a tasty looking bowl of miso ramen with three chili peppers superimposed over it.

“So fast!”

“I’m an expert,” Moca retrieved her ticket from the machine. “Tomoe and I have studied for a long time.”

“What’s the difference between Spicy and Ultra Spicy?”

“A thousand years of training Hii-chan. A thousand years.” Moca nodded with her sage nonsense. “If you start now, you might be ready by your next life.”

“That’s so lame and yet so cool,” Himari cooed filled with conflict.

Moca stepped out into the doorway, “I’ll get a spot in line, don’t take too long.” She disappeared.

“There’s another line?” Himari looked back at the first line they’d just left. “Ramen is so complex.”

“It’s not that bad,” Tomoe offered diplomatically, “you just pick out your base and toppings here. Then you get your meal ticket and take it to the counter and tell them how you want your noodles—you want them firm—how much oil you want—lots—how thick you want the soup to be—super, super thick—and if you want chili oil or garlic or extra sauces and stuff.”

“Tomoe,” Himari sighed. “That’s bad.” She scanned the options with a cute pout and absolutely no idea what she was doing, “why don’t I just have what you’re having?”

“You sure?”

“Well you’re a ramen expert aren’t you?” Himari teased.

“So I’ve been told,” Tomoe grinned.

“Then I’ll put all my faith in you!”

“Okay, okay,” Tomoe leaned into the machine ordering two of her usual favorite pork bone ramen bowls.

* * *

Twenty minutes in line later (“Seriously?” Himari sputtered in shock at the size of the line, “it’s a Tuesday afternoon!”) they finally found their way to the counter, two steaming bowls in front of them, one Moca Aoba in between them. It was a little like having a chaperon. A very hungry chaperon covering her already spicy ramen with a hearty layer of chili flakes and garlic.

“Don’t use it all up,” Tomoe snagged the garlic dish before Moca could empty it into her bowl. “Himari you want this.” Tomoe reached over Moca’s bowl to dump a pile of garlic in Himari’s ramen.

“Garlic?” Himari stuck out her tongue, “But it’ll make my breath stink.”

“Why do you care about that?” Moca asked between loud slurps of noodles.

“I-I’m a girl! Girl’s care about that sort of thing, why don’t you Moca?”

“You planning on kissing someone Hii-chan?”

“Moca!”

Moca grinned, “You planning on kissing me? Sorry, sorry but my heart is held by bread, but I do got this side fling with ramen going on.”

Tomoe scooped garlic onto her noodles and smiled to herself. Her favorite food with two of her favorite people? This was pretty good actually. She grabbed a hearty strand of noodles with her chopsticks and stuffed them in her mouth, slurping happily. That was the stuff, the savory chew of the noodles soaked in broth combined with the fresh punch of garlic, it was definitely as good as—she blamed Moca for the way her mind drifted.

The noodles were good, the meat and the veggies were fantastic but the best part of any ramen bowl—and Tomoe was ready to testify in court to this—was the broth. She picked up the bowl and drunk deep. That savory, rich soup could turn the coldest night into a lovely summer day. Ramen broth warmed her through from the throat down, spreading around all the inner bits until it settled in her stomach, comfortable and cozy like it had always been there.

“Hii-chan you have to eat the ramen.”

Tomoe put down her bowl and looked over. Himari paused with her phone posed over the bowl, snapping away. “Himari, you only have like fifteen minutes ‘til the noodles get too soggy.”

“Only fifteen! This is so complicated!”

Moca leaned over Himari’s bowl, then over at Tomoe’s empty bowl, then back again with a puzzled expression. “Moca-chan thought Hii-chan only liked soy-sauce ramen.”

“I-I can like pork bone ramen too.”

“Eeeh? Is that so?” Moca drawled dreamily, “You let Tomo-chin order for you didn’t you?”

For some reason Himari blushed, “I thought I’d just follow Tomoe’s lead.”

“You can’t just do something ‘cause Tomo-chin likes it. Tomo-chin liking it doesn’t mean Hii-chan likes it.”

Huh? What was so important about the ramen Himari ate? Well, Moca was serious about food after all. “If Himari wants to try pork bone broth… isn’t that okay?” Tomoe asked, puzzled.

Moca rolled her shoulders back, “It’d just be sad for pork bone ramen if Hii-chan tried it and just threw it out. But maybe it’s really pork bone ramen’s fault for not considering Hii-chan’s feeling.”

Tomoe was definitely, totally lost.

Himari stared into her noodles.“I think pork bone ramen would understand...”

“It would cry big salty tears Hii-chan!”

“Mo-Moca! I’m eating it right now.” Himari grabbed a bundle of noodles and brought them too her mouth. Moca and Tomoe watched intently as her mouth contorted to try and hide her clear distaste.

“Just as Moca-chan feared.”

“I-I’m sorry Himari!” Somehow this was definitely Tomoe’s fault, “I didn’t realize you had a preference.”

“N-no! I like it!” Himari hurriedly stuffed more in her mouth. “I dwefinitely wike wit!”

“Slow down! You don’t have to eat it all.”

Moca shook her head and sighed. “Can’t force yourself to like something you don’t actually like. No matter how much you try.”

“Moca,” Tomoe gave up guessing, “what are you talking about?”

“Ramen, obviously.”

* * *

It was just about the end of sunset when they wrapped up their ramen experience. Himari tried her best to finish the bowl off, but Tomoe had taken over part way through. It was unclear if it was for Himari’s or the poor ramen’s sake. Afterwards, the trio walked their familiar route home to the split where, on a different day, Ran and Moca would turn off and Himari and Tomoe would continue on. They waved Moca goodbye, her great ramen theories still hanging in the air around them.

And finally, they were alone on the familiar road home, the low hanging mid-autumn moon already casting blue light between patches of glowing lamplight. A chill breeze blew through the empty street, gathering the last fallen leaves of the season and sending far from home. The air had that fall crispness, just cold enough that their breath barely misted from their mouths. There was a word for nights like this, but it was just out of Tomoe’s reach.

Himari exhaled with her entire body, her breath turning into a groan that rolled her shoulders and chest over. “Moca can be so weird. I really thought...”

“Thought what?” Tomoe shoved her hand into her coat pockets, watching Himari with a curious expression.

“I thought she’d figured us out,” Himari sighed with half a chuckle mixed in.

“Moca doesn’t know,” Tomoe said, still unsure exactly what was being said in the ramen joint. It bothered her, not knowing what bothered her. “But, maybe we should tell them?”

Himari skipped a step ahead. She landed on one leg, arms outstretched, then jumped to the next, almost like a kid playing hopscotch. There was a long minute before she answered, “Why?”

“I don’t know, I just… I don’t like hiding things from our friends,” she hated it actually. “And we’re pretty bad at lying.”

“I don’t like it either but I don’t want to tell them,” Himari stumbled a step and hurriedly added, “It’s not like I’m embarrassed!” She still kept her back to Tomoe. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”

“We could put it in the calendar. ‘Sorry Ran, can’t do practice that day, I’ve got a make out scheduled’.”

Himari’s shoulders shook with her giggle, “She would die, that would actually kill Ran. Tsugumi would offer to bring snacks.”

“And they would be great snacks. And if Moca found out...”

They both stopped walking. Himari shivered, “Can you imagine what she’d do? It’d be RanMommyGate times a thousand.”

“Times a thousand?”

“A Thousand, Tomoe!” Himari insisted emphatically, “Commemorative Mugs? No, it’d be a whole commemorative table set!”

“She’d get like,” Tomoe tried to think of the weirdest thing she could, “bed sheets made.”

“She’d snuggle up every night under a big print out of us. It’d be worse then the time she ordered a custom championship belt the one time she beat you at Taiko Drum Master.”

“It was ONE time! It’d be up there with that time she ordered custom crayons to convince you purple is spelled pruple.”

“I almost failed English because of that!”

Tomoe snorted, Himari giggled and they let their laughter break the quiet of the street for a little bit before they let it fade into the familiar comfortable silence Tomoe realized had become oddly absent from their lives in the last week. Was it nostalgia creeping up her chest then? Their new hobby removed all the inbetween spaces from conversations. There was a comfort to just walking together. Even with Himari’s back still turned to her.

Himari clasped her hands behind her back, swaying to some song only she could hear. She stepped into a patch of moonlight and turned. Her face was struck with a gentle blue filter more flattering than any of those photo filters she flipped through on her phone. The soft green of her eyes looked out at something Tomoe got the feeling she couldn’t see, no matter how hard she looked.

“Tomoe?” Himari turned her head just enough to look Tomoe in the eye.

Some of the ramen must have still been traveling through her system, it was the only explanation Tomoe had for the warm feeling in her gut. “Yeah?”

“You‘re staring.”

“Thinkin’ about something else,” Tomoe shrugged, catching up to Himari in two long steps.

Himari let out a shivering breath, “It’s getting cold.” She reached up to her hair, undoing one loose pigtail, then the next. Her newly freed hair bounced in small waves around her ears.

“But it’s still so beautiful this time of year,” Himari attention turned to the sky.

“It is.”

“The moon is too.”

Tomoe didn’t look at the moon. “Yeah.”

If she told their friends, what would she say? ‘Sometimes I look at Himari and I wanna kiss her so bad it hurts and I don’t know why’, ‘I’m a monster who can’t stop thinking about her best friend in the worst way’, ‘I think I might—’

Tomoe must have leaned forward because Himari held up her hand, pressing the tips of her fingers to Tomoe’s lips. “We shouldn’t.”

“Right.”

“I mean, we just ate all that garlic,” Himari took her hand back, her gaze lowering bashfully.

Tomoe looked down at the top of Himari’s head. “We really can’t tell them, can we?” It wasn’t really a question.

“Is there something to tell them Tomoe?”

Tomoe tried to blink the moonlight out of her eyes. Himari was right, the garlic must still been in Tomoe too because for some reason she wanted to cry too.

“No, I guess not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have a tight outline that you're really happy about and then the characters decide they actually want to get ramen and you have to do that for 3000 words. Such is writing.


	3. Playing in the Pocket

Technically speaking, Tomoe Udagawa was not a very good drummer. She was a good drummer, sure, getting better all the time, but her formal training was basically started and ended when the old man who handed her a pair of baichi when she was seven, pointed at the taiko and told her to ‘hit it hard’. As a kid with a general enthusiasm for hitting things, she’d taken the lesson to heart. As a teenager she still did. Afterglow’s drums lived entirely in Tomoe’s head. Tsugumi and Himari kept careful notes and Ran and Moca made attempts at coherence but Tomoe had never bothered to write anything down.

She didn’t let it bother her. It’d been weird when Tomoe realized that if Ako wasn’t already the better drummer she would be soon and embarrassing when Maya asked her for clarification on Y.O.L.O that she could barely give (it was lucky Maya could decode the stream of budums, bams and tst-tches that flowed from Tomoe instead of sheet music) but what did it matter if Tomoe was really good or not? She just had to be good enough for Afterglow, the same as always, improving in tandem with her friends, never going ahead, never falling behind.

That said, today she was better than good. She was freaking awesome.

Maybe it was something in the air. It was finally cold enough outside that the hot blooded drummer didn’t feel the need to crank the AC to max. Maybe that’s what was giving her precognitive powers. It was almost like she could hear Himari’s bass just before Himari played it, like their senses were so perfectly aligned that she could tell exactly what the bassist would do because it was the only thing she could do. It wasn’t so specific as knowing the notes that were coming, Tomoe barely knew their names anyway. This was a sixth sense, a syncing sensation.

It was the kind of thing that reminded Tomoe she never wanted to play with anyone else.

When the last note of their last song rang through the air, Tomoe could tell everyone else had felt it too. Her bandmates buzzed with the sort of intoxicating excitement only a good performance brought, even when it was just for themselves. Or especially when it was just for themselves. Tomoe waited for the certain ‘same as always’ from Ran.

KaTHANG. “That was incredible!” Instead, Tsugumi excitedly slammed her hands on her, still live, keyboard. She recoiled in embarrassment, still smiling broadly, “Sorry Ran.” Tsugumi tried her best (still terrible) Ran impression, “It was still ‘same as always’ of course! But it was so much more! Himari, Tomoe, you two are so reliable!”

Himari turned to Tomoe with a face splitting grin, “You hear that? I’m reliable!”

“We’re reliable,” Tomoe winked, “Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Nothing gets up to my head!”

“Finally Hii-chan’s test scores make sense~” Moca zipped up her guitar.

“Moca!”

“All that extra practice really paid off!” Their keyboardist continued with a level of excitement that only emerged when she praised her friends.

“I-I guess so.” Himari pulled the strap from around her shoulder with shaky hands.

Tomoe could feel Himari’s panic from across the room. She eyed Moca, whose eyes flicked between Tomoe and Himari without blinking. Tomoe chuckled a bit too hard, “it hasn’t been that much practice.”

“Seriously!” Tsugumi didn’t react to the slight change in atmosphere. “We’re totally playing in the pocket now!”

Moca turned, curiosity peaked. Good job Tsugumi. “Sounds pretty Tsuguriffic to me.”

“I read about it in a music theory book! Playing in the pocket is when the rhythm section, that’s all of us, forms a perfect groove headed up by the drums and the bass! They make the pocket and we all play in it!

“So without the pocket, everything would fall apart?”

“...I think, I haven’t finished the book yet.”

The pocket? That kinda followed with what Tomoe felt. It was like she and Himari were a backbone? Guards? A safety net? No, that wasn’t right they were… they were, well there was nothing else for it, they were Afterglow’s pocket. They made a safe place everyone else could experiment in, knowing no matter what they’d be okay because Tomoe and Himari would remain stable. Because they wouldn’t change.

“Tsugu, Tsugu, this is a book about jazz composition.”

“Is that bad?”

“Well, we’re a rock band, sometimes we’re a pop band and when Ran gets really mad at her dad we’re punk band.”

Tomoe stared at the beaten batter head of her snare. Her focus shifted in and out on countless marks on the drum skin. It was just a way to explain a complex musical phenomenon. Not a freakin’ metaphor for her life. The drummer had never put stock in metaphors before, so why start now? Metaphors were for Ran and her tender lyrics about complex emotions that Tomoe had managed so long without.

Tsugumi sighed. “I guess I messed up then.”

“Tsugu. You have never done anything wrong in your life.”

“Thanks, Moca-chan.”

“Let’s become a jazz Fusion band~ jazz for Moca-chan’s soul~”

“It’s actually very interesting, if you walk me to work I can tell you all about it!” Tsugumi and Moca’s voices trailed out earshot as they left the room.

“Tomoe,” Ran called out from the doorway, her always serious expression as unreadable as ever.

Tomoe snapped out of the daze she’d fallen into. “Uh, yeah?”

“Do you need help?”

Tomoe looked down at her kit. She’d hadn’t started packing up. “Sorry, just daydreamin’ a little. You guys go ahead without me.”

“Alright,” Ran disappeared with a curt nod.

And so the loyal drummer was left alone with her drums and her thoughts. She chose to focus on the drum. Tomoe slowly and deliberately loosened her snare from its stand. One piece at at a time. Bit by bit.

“Let me help.”

Except she wasn’t alone. Tomoe could have sworn Himari left with the others but there she was. There she always was.

Himari shrugged off her school blazer and knelt in front of the bass drum. Her fingers trailed up the drum’s shell to top where the toms attached and started to loosen one of the connectors. Spinning it round and round and round.

“You know how to take the kit apart?” Tomoe asked from her seat, with a mix of curiosity and amusement.

“It’s a screw Tomoe.”

“Technically, it’s a wingnut.”

“Come on...” the girl with pink pigtails stopped her task and looked up at Tomoe, pouting.

Heavy blue eyes fixated on the way that lower lip trembled with a slight protrusion. Their intensity didn’t go unnoticed. Himari hesitantly placed her hand on Tomoe’s knee. The implication of the tiny action jolted through Tomoe, striking right at—the wingnut she was holding clattered to the floor.

“Shoot!” Tomoe scrambled onto the ground, hands fanning out across the rough studio carpet. It couldn’t have disappeared that quickly. She could find it, she could focus on finding it so she wouldn’t focus on—

Himari’s hand covered her own. “I’ve got you.”

Tomoe glanced down at the bit of silver metal in the smaller girl’s palm. They were alone, who knew when they’d be alone again, but still—

They crashed together. Tomoe’s concerns didn’t register when Himari’s lips were on hers. The drummer fell onto her backside, or maybe she was pushed. Himari followed. One knee on one side of Tomoe, one knee on the other. Straddling her. This was a first.

Tomoe adjusted to the new but comfortable weight on her lap as familiar lips bore down on her. Her hands rose on instinct, hovering centimeters from Himari’s waist. She wanted more but was that too much more? How greedy was she allowed to be? How much could she ask for? How much change was too mu—

Himari answered the unasked questions by grabbing Tomoe’s wrists and pressing Tomoe’s hands into her sides. The drummer’s fingers settled naturally into the divots of her waist, rubbing at the soft skin underneath the cotton shirt. Someone trembled at the contact, maybe they both did. It was so, so, so much.

Tomoe’s lips parted and Himari was there, tongue twirling, twisting with the skill they’d carefully trained together. Tomoe pulled tighter, hands crawling around the bassist back. Himari’s arms in turn slung loosely around her neck. They were in tune, they understood without understanding.

And she couldn’t think about how careless they were being. About how the door was unlocked and their time was almost up and they couldn’t keep this up, they just couldn’t. But it didn’t matter because all the parts of all her senses were Himari, Himari, Himari.

Himari’s scent, Himari’s taste, Himari’s touch.

“Ah… Tomoe.”

Himari’s needy moan and that way she said Tomoe’s name. The way she held it in her mouth like she didn’t want to give it up, like it had to be dragged away from her.

The feeling of liquid soft silk under Tomoe’s palm—

“A-ah.”

Tomoe’s hand was—

Tomoe’s hand was…

Tomoe’s hand was on Himari’s breast.

There was a beat of realization between them. Then, Tomoe recoiled. One hand flailed out behind her for support, the other jumped to her face, covering her mouth as if to hold everything in.

Himari’s shirt was undone, not all the way but unbuttoned enough that Tomoe could see the lacy yellow bra underneath. The bra she’d just— When did she unbutton Himari’s shirt? Did she unbutton Himari’s shirt?

Tomoe tried to speak but there were no words in her throat. She could only search Himari’s face as Himari, startled, tumbled off her lap. What was she thinking? Was she mad? Upset?

Afraid?

It felt like the look in Himari’s eyes was unknowable. Her pupils were wide but her eyes were narrow, her swollen lips were still parted, and she was shaking, not much but enough that Tomoe noticed.

Was it fear?

She’d gone too far. They’d gotten too deep in that synchronous space. She’d let her instincts get carried away. She was selfish, she didn’t think about Himari wanted.

What Himari wanted.

Tomoe stomach lurched.

It wasn’t fear. That’s Tomoe wanted to see. That’s what she expected to see. Things would be so much easier if Himari afraid. You could apologize for fear. But fear wasn’t half-lidded eyes and shallow panting, it wasn’t the swell of breasts pushed out against a carefully chosen lacy bra.

That was desire.

Tomoe’s hand tried to grasp onto the too short fibers of the carpet. She tried to steady herself with a long, slow breath but it it came out wrong, ragged where it should have been smooth, shallow where she needed something to hold on to. She needed to pack this thought up, the same way she did every other inconvenient feeling. She needed to shove it on that same shelf she’d put everything she didn’t want to think about. But she’d already crammed to the breaking point.

Tome knew what she wanted to say and she knew what she had to say.

It was one thing to just play around, to play pretend in empty rooms.

It was one thing to fall in love with Himari. It was one thing for Himari to fall in love with her.

But it was another to fall in love with each other.

The rest of Afterglow could change around them. Everyone _had _changed, Ran had changed, Moca had changed, even Tsugumi was moving forward. But the two of them, but Himari and Tomoe, had to stay the same. That was the role they’d promised to play on the roof that day. Nothing could endanger that. Their friendship was too precious. The change was too great. Tsugumi was right. They made the pocket for the others to play in. But if they tried, the whole thing would fall apart.

It was a fucking metaphor after all.

Tomoe rolled the moment back in her mind. Pretend it was fear. What she say then? She could let a denser version of herself fix this. Pandora’s box was still closed, and surely, she could space find the space to keep it like that.

“Tomoe—”

“Himari. I’m sorry.” Tomoe didn’t look at her. “I don’t know what happened. It’s just a physio— a physiolo— it’s just my body. It doesn’t mean anything.”

One final blow. Tomoe looked Himari in the eye. “It doesn’t mean I’m in love with you.” Tomoe’s voice held so steady, she almost believed herself.

And she knew from look on her best friend’s face that Himari believed everything she said.

“Oh.” The word was barely spoken out loud. It was the sound Himari made before she struggled to her feet and ran out of the room.

And there, on the floor of the studio, the shelves finally crashed under the weight Tomoe had forced them to bear. Everything she’d tried to repress shattered around her and she knew there was no way to put it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, uh, have a lot of opinions about the conclusions Tomoe and Himari come to in Afterglow Band Story 2. 
> 
> We're at the halfway point folks, it's all downhill from here.


	4. Responsible

It definitely started at the shopping district’s end of summer festival.

At the beginning of Tomoe’s burgeoning “Taiko career”, Afterglow tried hard to come support her every time she played but there were so many festivals, and there was only so much drum hitting Ran could stand before she wanted to hit something herself, that they’d stopped going as a group more than once a year in middle school. Tsugumi still tried to come as much as she could and Moca came way more than she’d admit but they’d both been busy that particular day. So it was just Himari standing in the crowd, a one woman Tomoe Udagawa cheer squad.

The performance wasn’t unusual. There were plenty of dons and that one hit where they hit side like taiko drum master but in real life! And Tomoe led the group in a rousing ‘soiya, soiya, soiya’ and it was totally fun but same as always. And then, maybe it was because she was the only one who came, or maybe it was because some sweat got into her eye, Tomoe winked right at Himari.

And Himari’s stupid heart noticed.

It wasn’t like it was Himari’s first crush. She’d been addicted to romance ever since she watched Prince Charming slide that glass slipper on Cinderella’s foot. Soon after she and Tsugumi starting stealing her older sister’s shoujo manga (okay Himari stole, Tsugumi worried) to read with wide eyes by flashlights under piles of blankets. She was the first to jump at gossip, and the first to cheer on her friends (even if their love lives were unfortunately dull). She loved love and most of all, she loved the little crushes she developed daily.

Every time Himari left her house she fell a little in love with someone: the dashing actor on a billboard ad, the charming convenience store clerk, the school prince, or a particularly friendly bus driver! Those were comfortable crushes, just warm feelings of what if. They were sweet, soft fantasies to entertain as she fell asleep.

They weren’t Tomoe freaking Udagawa.

At first, Himari tried to justify it as an inconvenient but harmless crush. Tomoe was cool, the kind of effortless cool that was impossible to copy, and Himari had it bad for the cool types after all. If anything it was surprising she _hadn’t _crushed on Tomoe already. She was certain it would fade as quickly as every other crush. But then a week passed, then a month, then two, and yet her heart still thundered whenever Tomoe threw her arm around Himari’s shoulders, or slightly leaned down to hear Himari better or just existed in Himari’s general area. She had traded falling asleep to cozy romantic fantasies for lying awake in bed trying to figure out if Tomoe had abs.

The beleaguered bassist couldn’t stop taking index of the whole Udagawa package. Tomoe was extremely hot and she didn’t know it which made her the worst kind of person to have a crush on. She was always a little sweaty but somehow not in a gross way but instead like a ‘just got of the gym by the way have you seen how beefy I am’ way. Himari had somehow managed to pick out most of Tomoe’s wardrobe without ever noticing her best friend was totally ripped. When did she get so muscular? Was it the drums? Would Himari get that fit if she played the drums? Could Tomoe teach Himari the drums in a sort of Ghost pottery scene manner?

Himari had it bad. She should have known she was screwed when she thought Tomoe was still hot playing taiko in nothing but bike shorts and a happi (that was exactly why Tomoe was not allowed dressed herself). But at least a crush, even a serious one, was the kind of thing that passed with time. If the unfortunate romantic could just hold on with her dignity intact long enough she knew her heart would move on to someone less problematic, like Tsugumi again.

Too bad her lips had other ideas.

In hindsight, Himari’s faith in her self-control was totally misplaced. Or maybe she secretly hung around in Tomoe’s room because she knew exactly what she’d drive herself to do: make up the flimsiest excuse to put herself in touching range of Tomoe. It was almost planned, at least as much as the fantasy played on repeat in her head counted as a plan. Still, it was kind of shocking that Himari managed to close the gap. If everything after wasn’t such a disaster she’d be proud of herself.

That first kiss was her best worst instinct. The beginning was a blur of color and feeling but the second part? The part where Tomoe pressed back against her mouth and squeezed her hand like letting go would be a crime? It was the kind of kiss that made Himari realize how lacking her imagination was. The kind of kiss that turns a crush into something else. There was nothing in her manga about realizing you’re in love right after breaking a chair.

The next day she’d spent the whole lunch period cooped up in the bathroom studying terrible advice columns: How to turn your friendship into a relationship! Make that platonic pal your romantic gal! Whip off your glasses and show him you were beautiful all along! None of them were relevant and every single one assumed the first kiss was the end goal. It was like there was a universal truth that two friends who finally kissed were destined to fall in love.

Thinking about it now made Himari want to cry (she was already crying). Kissing was treated like the ticket to easy street! One smooch and a girl was guaranteed to live happily ever after. But they were about a hundred kisses deep and that happy ending popped like a half deflated balloon. 

But she didn’t know the end of the story back then, so Himari tried to work backwards. The bassist planned to invite Tomoe to practice, confess her feelings and go on with their lives one way or another. But she couldn’t work up the nerve, she made weird excuses and then—

Then Tomoe told Himari she was unequivocally NOT in love with her but could they make out anyway?

And her stupid teen hormones said yes.

Every time she thought ‘surely this as bad as it can get’, Himari would find new depths to plunge into. No one could mess up their own life with quite as much skill. After that day, after the day she definitely should have said no, her whole life centered around worming her way into Tomoe’s heart through her mouth.

It was pathetic, she knew it was pathetic. But in her own defense, she was just a girl with wants and desires too.

Besides kissing? Even when you’re kissing the girl you’re in love with who won’t stop telling you how not in love with you she is? Excellent. A+. Three cheers for the first cave person who thought: but what if we put our mouths together and sucked face?

There was so much more to it then just kissing though. There was touching and holding and words whispered in the moonlight and low chuckles that rumbled in chests and close encounters and shared secrets and—

It was all so romantic she wanted to cry except it was all unrequited so she cried over that instead.

In the end, Himari was responsible for wrecking it. They’d had a good thing going. Being held like that. Being kissed like that. It was as close to being loved she was going to get but she still wanted more. She was selfish. And maybe she even tricked Tomoe into the whole thing. Sure, Himari didn’t force Tomoe to grab her boob but she did unbutton her shirt hoping Tomoe would.

It was bad enough to make Tomoe reiterate her lack of feelings. Himari got that Tomoe was trying to be considerate and reassuring but it still felt like being jabbed in the eye over and over by someone who didn’t even notice.

So there Himari was exhausted, confused, and half-naked in the CiRCLE lobby as Marina reminded her with stammered concern. And the only thing she wanted to do was curl up in stupid Tomoe’s stupid beefy arms and cry. But that wasn’t exactly going to happen. She’d have to settle for the next best thing.

* * *

“I’m calling a Code Tsugu!” Himari shouted as she threw open the door of Hazawa Coffee to the surprisingly limited interest of the collection of cafe regulars. Code Tsugu was one of the more sacred Afterglow tenets. It indicated the only exception to their strict (kinda strict) ‘don’t interrupt Tsugumi with your problems at work’ policy: your life literally falling apart. As far as Himari knew, this was the first any of them had invoked it.

Tsugumi stumbled at the noise but caught herself just before she dropped a pot of coffee in Sayo Hikawa’s lap. “Sit in the corner I’ll be right there.”

Himari collapsed into a corner table, spreading her whole torso across the tabletop. The cool wood was weirdly comforting. Even if things were never going to be okay again at least there was Hazawa Coffee. ...things would be okay again though, right?

Tsugumi talked animatedly with her father behind the counter. Himari felt a sliver of guilt, it was literally the very beginning of Tsugumi’s shift. But just as she decided to call it off, Papa Hazawa caught Himari’s eye, flashed her a cheerful thumbs up and handed his daughter an extraordinarily large piece of almond cream cake. He was Himari’s favorite of all their parents. Including her own.

The cake soon made it’s way in front of Himari, alongside Tsugumi and a full cup of coffee. “Okay, I’m here. What’s wrong, what can I do to help?”

Himari filled her lungs and spoke in one breakless burst, “I’ve been making out in secret with Tomoe and I’m totally in love with her but she’s not in love with me and I don’t know what to do and also she touched my boob.”

Tsugumi, to her credit, just nodded, “Uh huh, uh huh, okay, we’re going to need a pot of coffee and the rest of this cake, be right back.”

By the time Tsugumi returned with the cake, Himari had finished off the first piece. She gratefully accepted another. “So how screwed am I?”

The part-time barista scooted into the seat across from Himari and gave her hand a loving squeeze, “We’ve got a lot to unpack here.”

“Yeah...”

“First things first. Do you officially like girls now? Last time we talked about this kind of thing you’d settled on straight except for Kaoru who doesn’t count for some reason.”

“My sexuality is more of a big question mark and a shrug at this point.”

“Kind of same. So we can put that to the side,” Tsugumi mimed picking up a large box and setting it aside. “Now do we tackled secret make outs or in love with Tomoe first.” She motioned to two more imaginary boxes.

“They’re basically the same thing now,” Himari downed her mug of appropriately bitter coffee. “Okay. Here’s the story, please don’t judge me too much.”

By the time she’d finished retelling the events of the last two weeks, Himari had completely finished off the almond cream cake and Tsugumi had almost been overwhelmed by her ceiling high pile of invisible boxes to unpack. To Tsgumi’s credit she kept a straight face through everything even the three minute detour onto the topic of Tomoe’s biceps.

“So that’s how to goof up your life in three easy steps. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I will not be taking questions,” Himari buried her face in her arms, letting her sleeves bear the brunt of tissue duty.

“Oh Himari-chan,” Tsugumi lovingly patted Himari’s head with one hand and handed her a handkerchief with the other.

“What should I do Tsugu?” Himari groaned from between her arms.

“Talk to Tomoe-chan.”

“No thank you, I’d like another suggestion please.”

“You know you have to.”

“Nuh-uh.”Himari peeked out of her hiding spot, “I already know how she feels. She’d made it super clear how she feels.”

“But she doesn’t know how you feel.”

“Which means I can pretend it never happened! That’s my backup plan.”

“You’re going to pretend she didn’t touch your...” Tsugumi trailed off with lightly red cheeks.

“Oh my god,” Himari finally lifted her head off the table, “are you trying to say boob?”

Tsugumi squirmed in the chair, “You know what I’m talking about.”

“Tsugu my life is in pieces, please, please let me hear you say boob.”

“I can say it! I’m not that innocent.”

“I don’t believe you. You must say boob to prove it.”

Tsugumi’s nervousness raised her voice to a shout, “She touched your boob!”

Somewhere in the coffee shop behind them, someone loudly choked on their drink.

Now Tsugumi’s face was buried on the table in her arms, “now will you talk to Tomoe-chan?”

Himari flipped her fork between her fingers. “I just don’t want to hear her say she’s not in love with me again.”

“If you don’t tell her,” Tsugumi pulled the fork away before Himari could accidentally fling it into someone, “you’re never going to move on.”

“Maybe I don’t want to move on,” Himari said the words and understood them at the exact same time. “Maybe I want to be in love with her. It’s nice Tsugu. I mean not all the painful parts but—” Himari struggled to explain something she was just beginning to understand, “I like the way I feel when I think about Tomoe. It’s like there’s this soft precious thing in my chest and I’m the only one who knows about it, it’s just mine. If I tell her, if I open it up to the world. I’ll have to let it go.” Himari let out the air she didn’t realize she was holding in.

Oh. Even if Tomoe didn’t feel the same way, Himari didn’t regret falling in love with her.

“Tsugu, why are you crying?”

Tsugumi flicked a tear away from her eye, “It’s just really sweet Himari-chan. You should tell her exactly what you told me.”

“That’s why I can’t tell her,” Himari sighed. When Tsugumi got an idea in her head she never let it go. On the other hand, Tsugumi was usually right.

“That’s the kind of speech that might make her fall in love!”

“D-Do you really think so?” Himari didn’t dare let hope into her heart, but she did feel something hope adjacent sneak in.

Tsugumi took Himari’s hand between both of her own. Her kind brown eyes eased Himari’s uncertainty. “And if it doesn’t work out, I’m here, Ran-chan’s here, Moca-chan’s here and even Tomoe-chan will be here for you again. Even if things change we’re still us right?”

“Tsugu! You’re righ—”

“Heh Heh Heh.” That laugh. No it couldn’t be. Himari would have noticed—

The sleepy pale haired devil rose up from the back of an adjacent booth. “Moca-chan is here for sure.”

“Moca! Were you there the whole time?” Himari slammed her fists on the table.

“Hii-chan you can’t blame Moca-chan for your observational weaknesses,” Moca rolled her head over on the edge of the seat.

“Is that what you call slouching in a booth to learn my secrets?”

“Please, Moca-chan comes with a peace offering. Moca lightly misread an earlier situation and would like to make amends."

"You mean you made a mistake?" Himari asked warily. 

"Moca-chan would not phrase it exactly like that. What matters is I know how to make this whole situation go back to normal.”

“No!” Tsugumi jumped up, trying to block Moca from view, “Himari-chan don’t listen. You need to talk to her about your feelings.”

“There’s no harm in just listening to Moca’s idea!” Himari strained around to catch a glimpse of Moca, her caution transformed into excitement. 

“Just sit back and let Moca-chan fix everything~”

“Okay Moca!”

Tsugumi collapsed into her seat and poured herself another, very large, cup of coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsugumi MVP. 
> 
> If my main goal for this story (other than telling a good story) is convincing people TomoHima is actually a great main pairing, my sub goal is convincing people Himari is a character with a lot of fun potential. I won't write an essay since I just wrote almost three thousand words above on the subject but A+ Himari, you go Himari.
> 
> Chapter is named after the Sara Bareilles song of the same name that I had literally never heard until it came up on a random playlist while I was writing this chapter. Eerie timing 'cause it's incredibly on point. I wish I could write the emotion that songs hits on as concisely as it does. Oh well, that's what practice is for. 
> 
> Theoretically one chapter left. Good luck Himari and Tomoe. You dummies are gonna need it.


	5. The Blazer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized the story needed one more beat before we reach the end.

Tomoe wasn’t a moper. She did things, she fixed problems or she ignored them all together and moved on with her life. Lying around, sighing loudly over this or that was more Ran’s domain. And yet, curled up on her bed, holding Himari's abandoned blazer to her chest, Tomoe was starting to get the appeal. Comforting and painful in equal parts.

There was a name for this smell. Something simple. Something clever. Even if she couldn’t hold it in her hands she could keep it in her mind. Give it a label and file it away for safe keeping or maybe off load all the feelings she didn’t want to feel onto something else instead.

Tomoe curled around the cloth in her hands and breathed deep.

She wanted to call it summertime.

If she kept her eyes closed tight she could just see it. A purple-red sunset reflected on faded sands. The ocean spreading out towards forever. There was no one else there, just one girl. One girl on on the beach, pale pink hair, a bright pink bikini and a smile that fuels that sunset. That’s what the smell was.

Except that wasn’t a memory. That beach in her mind couldn’t be anywhere but Inoshima, but she’d only seen Inoshima in the winter, tight coat around her shoulders. Besides, Tomoe never saw that bikini on a beach. She’d only seen it as the guest of honor at a one woman bikini showcase. Could she have known back then? Did she miss a sign? Should she have known she—

She couldn’t call it summertime. What the hell does summer smell like anyway?

Maybe Tomoe could settle for spring time. The scent had a hazy purple undertone, like lilac and lavender. Flowers were Ran’s thing but hadn’t _she_ taken an interest too? Learned something about the language of flowers? When Ran told them about that one flower, the dark red one, hadn’t _she—_

No, that was Tsugumi. Tomoe was inserting people in memories where they didn’t belong. It had been sweet Tsugumi, kind Tsugumi. What would Tsugu think? She’d never complain, never did complain, but it’d hurt her, wouldn’t it? They always left Tsugumi on her own.It wasn’t her fault everyone else partnered up so naturally. But if the distance grew between them, they’d lose her in it.

Tsugumi always smelled like coffee grinds no matter how hard she tried to scrub it away. It was a comforting smell but it wasn’t this one.

It was almost warm. Could a smell be warm? Ramen smelled warm, but Ramen _was _warm. This wasn’t that same smell but a part of it felt the same. It gave Tomoe the same feeling as drinking the last drop of broth out of a bowl. The kind of feeling that made Tomoe want to grin with her whole body. Feeling so good you want to share it with someone else. That’s why she always got ramen with—

There was already so little of Moca, what would happen if Tomoe took the rest away? She saw the way Moca looked at Ran’s back, like she was looking at a memory. Did she look that way at the rest of them too? Could Moca survive an Afterglow break up? Because one break up would lead to another and break ups happen. Break ups always happen.

There Tomoe went thinking about the end of things before she knew the beginning.

But maybe that was how to get rid of it. If Tomoe could figure out the beginning could she bring it to an end. When did Tome start— When was the first time she felt—

She remembered that scent pressed against her in a changing room, holding up a green fur trimmed vest to the mirror. Tomoe wanted to wear a hoodie, why couldn’t she just wear a hoodie, no one looks at the drummer, but— “You have to look as cool as you are!” –she wanted to be as cool _she_ thought Tomoe was. Looking back Tomoe didn’t know but at the same time she knew so—

She knew that smell from late night slumber parties. They’d spread futons over Ran’s floor in a haphazard pile that turned five beds into one lumpy spread. The five of them would curl into one another without thinking and that scent would wrap around Tomoe with small hands and messy hair. And no matter how mixed it was with the others, she could always pick it out. But that wasn’t the first time—

It was the same smell as the day a pile of too pink books had been shoved in Tomoe’s hands. There was no punching in those books, and no one even turned into a giant robot so Tomoe didn’t really get the point but the ten year old still read them, every stupid word, because _she’d _said they mattered. _She_ said they were the most important books in the world. Tomoe didn’t get them, just thought they were sad but that was the point _she _said. They were romantic because they were sad. If that was the case then—

But even that wasn’t early enough. It was too much to sort through, that smell was a hundred different memories:

A shared piece of candy.

A secretive glance.

A dependable bass.

A tight embrace in an empty classroom.

An embarrassing chant.

A dependable bass.

A smile on a moonlit night.

A friend from before she could remember.

She could remember a thousand things but it’d never be the answer. She was stuck in her own mental loops, turning over the same stones. And the really stupid thing about it was Tomoe knew all along exactly what she was smelling: shampoo and body wash mixed with sweat.

There was only one name that could give it any meaning:

Himari.

And there was only one word for the way Tomoe felt. But giving it a name gave it too much power. Even if she already knew. Even if she knew…

She couldn’t do this on her own.

Tomoe fumbled out with blind hands for her phone, scrambling out a message before her brain could stop the rest of her:

**Can you come over? I need to talk.**

The reply came before Tomoe could take it back:

** I’m already on my way.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thousand word chapter in which Tomoe sniffs a blazer and sends a text. Please forgive me for getting a little experimental with it, I hit a bit of a wall going into the last chapter. 
> 
> The meta explanation for this chapter is I couldn't figure out what Himari's blazer would smell like for a SINGLE line so instead I wrote a thousand words on it. My greatest weakness is descriptive writing, I do everything I can to write around describing things directly. 
> 
> Next time I'll bring everything to a close.


	6. Same as Always

“Everything about you pisses me off.”

“Thanks for coming Ran.”

Ran Mitake stood at the threshold of Udagawa home, her uniform traded in for a casual sweater and scowl. Her hips were squared and her arms were crossed. She looked just about ready for a fight and primed to pick one if she couldn’t find one. Tomoe didn’t so much as blink, it was exactly what she’d asked for after all: a total Mitake-Udagawa throw down.

“Should I… come in?” Ran’s glare flickered with uncertainty as glanced over Tomoe’s slumped, exhausted form.

Unfortunately, Tomoe wasn’t sure how to get to the part where Ran yelled all Tomoe’s insecurities at her and somehow made everything better.

“Are you going to yell at me?” Tomoe asked as she moved aside to let Ran into the narrow entrance way.

Ran shrugged, kicking off her shoes by the door, “I haven’t decided yet.” They shuffled down silently the hall to the living room. Ran glanced around with anxious energy, into the kitchen, up the stairs, at the living room.

“Um…” Tomoe watched Ran tiptoe halfway up the stairs, pause and then turn back around, “are you okay?”

“Is Ako home?” Ran padded back to Tomoe.

“Nah, she’s got practice. Why?”

“I don’t want her to hear me yell at you. If I yell at you,” Ran qualified.

Tomoe hesitated at the division between the living room and the kitchen. Years of manners drilled in by her mother insisted she offer Ran something to drink but what if they did start fighting? Ran might spill the tea, or throw it at Tomoe in a fit of passion. On the other hand, maybe Tomoe deserved to be drenched in Earl Grey. What was she thinking? Ran wouldn’t throw the tea.

With a soft thud and a sigh, Ran slunk as low as possible without falling off into the incredibly stylish but horribly uncomfortable gray sectional, glowering in Tomoe’s general direction.

Okay, Ran might throw the tea.

Tomoe tentatively sat down beside the sunken form of Afterglow’s singer. Her hands anxiously drummed on her knees as she gathered the courage to ask, “Ran, why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you,” Ran grumbled, still glaring.

“You’re definitely, definitely mad at me.”

“I don’t know,” Ran huffed, “Are you dying?”

Tomoe was thrown, “Huh?”

“You asked me over to talk, you’ve never asked anyone over to talk, so, are you dying? You look like you’re dying.” Ran scooted her body up the couch via the coffee table, “If you’re dying I won’t be mad at you.”

“I…” Tomoe struggled to respond, “I’m not dying.”

“Then yeah I’m fucking pissed at you.”

Tomoe expected Ran to be mad at her, she frankly wanted Ran to be mad at her, but she didn’t think Ran would _already_ be mad at her.

“O-oh.”

There was an odd pause. Not awkward, Tomoe knew awkward pauses very intimately now, but uncertain. It was clear now they both knew they were going to fight. After all, that’s what Tomoe and Ran did, but that didn’t mean they knew when or where to start. Usually, they fought because one or the other was being an obstinate little shit not because one of them asked for it. How could Tomoe pick a fight? She could insult Ran’s highlight, Ran was very defensive about the highlight.

Neither of them could quite look the other in the eye. “I was on my way over to yell at you but then you texted so… I’m willing to put that on pause. If you... want to talk...” Ran forced the last words out of her mouth like they were making her sick.

“I mean I do but, now I’m just worried about why you’re mad. Maybe we should start with that?”

“You know why I’m mad!”

“I have no idea why you’re mad!” Actually maybe she did, but there was no Ran could possible know. “Unless—”

“You DO know! What the hell is your problem?”

Tomoe sighed and rubbed the back of her head, “That’s kinda a big question right now.”

“That was rhetorical!” Ran glared, somehow more than she’d already been glaring. They had reached a new level of Mitake glare. “What are you thinking?”

“Is that rhetorical too?”

“That one’s not rhetorical Tomoe!”

The taller girl’s shoulder’s rose around her ears and her hands rose to her defense, “It kind of seemed like a good idea at first? Maybe not a good idea? A fun idea?”

“Why didn’t you tell any of us?”

“It’s not the kind of thing you bring up to your friends?”

Ran faltered, “What are you talking about?”

“What are YOU talking about?”

Ran groaned and rolled her eyes with all the drama a seventeen year old punk could muster. It was a lot of drama. “I’m pissed that you and Himari have been dating behind our backs! Obviously!”

Oh. OH. Huh. Tomoe shook her hands, “I think you’ve got the wrong idea.”

“Don’t waste your time denying it Mount Moron, I saw you two at CiRCLE. You left the door open.”

Past Tomoe’s (‘a few hours ago’ Tomoe) carelessness sent current Tomoe’s head into her hands. “Yeah but we’re not dating. We’re not anything anymore.”

For the first time since she’d entered the house with a mission, Ran looked surprised. “What?”

“We’ve— I—” Tomoe struggled to find an explanation that could possible satisfy Ran. “We’re not dating.” In absence of a good explanation, the truth popped out. “We’ve been making out in secret. Also I touched her boob and now I kind of want to die.”

Ran opened her mouth to respond but nothing but a tiny confused noise popped out. The script she’d entered with had been forced into urgent rewrites. “I’m going to need a lot more details.”

So Tomoe vomited up the whole story, pacing through her living room to deal with the nervous energy, from the first time in her bedroom to the last time on the studio floor. No embellishments, no redactions. Just Tomoe’s weird life and Ran listening with disbelieving eyes, clinging tighter and tighter to charcoal cushion as the story went on.

When Tomoe finished talking, Ran looked up at her with an exasperated expression and sighed, “Tomoe Udagawa, you know what your problem is?”

Tomoe’s shoulders slumped. Her defeated eyes turned to the ceiling. “Please tell me what my problem is.”

“You never think about feelings.”

The teeth in Tomoe’s mouth ground together, “I am thinking about feelings. I’m thinking about all of your feelings. I’m trying to keep us all together!”

“Not our feelings! Your feelings! Think about your own damn feelings Tomoe!” Ran’s clenched fists trembled around the pillow. Her face was the same shade of red as the highlight in her hair. No one could bring out angry Ran the way Tomoe could. Tomoe was lucky to have a friend who would be angry when she couldn’t manage to be.

“I-I—” How the hell did Tomoe feel? Sad? Deeply. Heartbroken? Probably. Scared? Of course. But mostly, mostly she just— “I don’t know! I don’t get it! I don’t get romance. I don’t get love! What do I need it for?” Words kept pouring from her mouth without the decency of running through her brain first, “I was fine until I got stupid horny! I had everything I needed! I had the band and my sister, and my friends and the drums and Himari. What else could I want? And now I just, I just want and want and want and I hate this.”

“Tomoe,” Ran’s features softened to something almost tender. “How long have you been counting Himari separately from the rest of us?”

How long…?

Tomoe was an elementary school kid and there was this girl who was every single thing she wasn’t: all cute and girly and special and they had nothing in common but it didn’t matter ‘cause that wasn’t how they worked and—

And Tomoe was in middle school and she was shit at the drums but it was okay because there was this girl who was shit at the bass and together they could be a little less shit and they practiced and practiced til they almost sounded like a band and—

And Tomoe was seventeen and her body didn’t know how to handle the feelings in her heart so it sent her these signals she didn’t know how to read and she tried her damnedest to ruin what she had with the best person she knew and—

And Tomoe knew exactly what she realized on the studio floor, the thing she’d been trying to keep out of her head and off of her lips.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I get it now.”

“Welcome to the world the rest of us live in,” Ran squeezed the cushion in her hands. “The only person who doesn’t know is Himari.”

The room spun around Tomoe’s axis. Himari, Himari, Himari. If she closed her eyes she could see Himari there, the default position of her brain. It was so obvious once she let herself know it. Except the knowing didn’t solve the problem. “I can’t tell her.”

“Why?” It sounded like the kind of question Ran already knew the answer to.

“If I tell Himari, things can’t stay like they are. Relationships don’t always last forever—most of them don’t and Afterglow might not survive … if something happened and—” WHAP. Before Tomoe could finish her spiraling thought a firm couch cushion smacked her in the face. As it slid off Tomoe’s eyes, she saw Ran, hand still outstretched, her anger pumped back to maximum.

“I was mad for your sake! But now I’m mad for me! I won’t let you insult me like this!”

“What are you talking abou—” WHACK.

Ran jumped up, grabbing another missile to lob. “You think you’re the only one trying to keep us together?! You’re the only one worried about Afterglow?”

“That’s not—” WHAM. “Damnit Ran!” Tomoe snatched up a cushion from the ground, “you know what! Yeah! I am!”

BAMP. Ran deflected Tomoe’s pillow with her own, “I love Afterglow as much as you do!”

Tomoe charged ahead, forgoing throwing to just smack Ran with another pillow directly. WAMP! “Then why are you always running ahead!”

BUMPH! “Because I know you can keep up!”

WHACK! “Maybe you have too much faith in me!”

Ran aimed her cushion low at Tomoe’s knee. WHAM! “You don’t have enough faith in me!”

Tomoe crumbled but not without grabbing Ran around the waist and dragging her down too. They tussled impotently for a minute, neither willing to actually hurt the other, until Tomoe reached around back of Ran. The drummer held her punkass singer tight in something between a headlock and a hug.

“Get off you stupid giraffe.” Ran squirmed but Tomoe’s arm only grew stronger. No one escaped the Udagawa grip. “I’m so mad at you!” She repeated. “Have a little faith in me. Or Moca or Tsugu. At least have some faith in Himari.” Ran stopped struggling and leaned back into Tomoe’s trembling body, “No one asked you to carry us all on your back.”

“I know,” Tomoe said with a shaking voice. She could feel the tears burning in the bridge of her nose. “But what if we break up? What’ll happen Ran?” Her arm slumped down.

Ran took the chance and pushed out of Tomoe’s arms and onto her own feet, “Just don’t break up.”

“Huh?” Tomoe stared up at her, dumbstruck.

“Just get together and stay that way.”

“I’m serious Ran, you’re all so important to me,” The tears started to leak out, “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose you guys.”

“Then don’t lose us. It won’t be a problem if you just love Himari for the rest of your life!” Ran’s held her fists so tight she quivered but she still stood firm.

Ran said it like that was so simple. Like it was the kind of thing Tomoe could just decide to do. Tomoe’s lips twitched towards a smile. Why couldn’t she? Ran told her to right? And Ran Mitake could make a person believe just about anything.

Tomoe scrambled up, face to space just above face with Ran. And Ran was the only person in the world Tomoe could ever say this to, “Fuck you! I will!”

“Fuck you! You egocentric skyscraper!” Ran yelled back, teeth clenched in a crazy smile.

Tomoe buzzed with energy, “I’m gonna love Himari my whole fucking life!”

“That’s literally what I just said! I hate you so much!” Ran said in the way only someone who cared too much could.

The drummer wrapped Ran in a mess of a bear hug, shoulders hunched around her ears so her head could rest on Ran’s shoulder. Ran had no choice but to begrudgingly accept most of the weight of her tallest friend. She probably would have if she had a choice anyway. Even when Ran’s back started to grow damp with emotionally exhausted tears she let them come. Ran only shifted so she could hug Tomoe too, patting her back as comfortingly as Ran could manage.

Having traveled the full spectrum of emotions in about five minutes, Tomoe settled on calm and finally let go. “Thanks Ran.”

“Don’t thank me,” Ran traded the adrenaline from their argument for embarrassment. “Go tell Himari how you feel.”

Tomoe mussed up the back of her hair, “it really should be on the roof but—”

“I have a key,” Ran fished around in her pocket.

“You have a key?”

“Moca snatched the janitor’s master key and copied it for me,” Ran held the inconspicuous key out to Tomoe, pulling back at the last second, “You should know, I won’t forgive anyone who breaks one of our hearts, even if it’s one of us.”

“I’ll be careful with it.”

“Make sure she’s careful with yours too,” Ran pushed the key into Tomoe’s hand with a violent blush. “And please don’t let me be that sincere for like five years.”

Tomoe held the key to her heart and winked. “Promise.”

* * *

Himari’s thumb had been hovering over the send button on her phone for at least fifteen minutes. It had only taken fifteen seconds to write out: “SOS Roof Emergency”, but that last step was an impossible obstacle. She leaned on the rooftop railing where she had spent so many important moments of her life, dangling her head over the side. What was her problem? She had a genius girl (self-described) Moca Aoba plan to make everything normal again on her side. As long as she did exactly what Moca said things would be fine. No question.

Of course, there was a slight, very slight, possibility that Moca’s plan was… not the best. But what did Himari know? Clearly, she was very bad at this whole thing! But exactly what love experience was Moca drawing on? Moca was basically in a long term relationship with the Yamabuki bakery but it wasn’t like the bakery had a say in the matter. It wasn’t like the bakery had bulging biceps and legs like a pair of sexy tree trunks and—oh no she was thinking about Tomoe’s body again.

She had to stop thinking like that, Himari scolded herself. If they were going to go back to normal she couldn’t think about how much she wanted Tomoe to pick her up and carry her off to some dark corner where they could get up to all sorts of— nope. That was 100%, absolutely, completely definitely not an allowed thought. She had to rewire the brain shortcuts she’d accidentally programmed.

Himari groaned into the school yard far below her. She told Tsugumi she didn’t want to give up being in love but did that just mean she’d have to let it fade out like a dying light bulb? Was that better than just being rejected? Just getting it over with?

“But I don’t want to just get it over with,” Himari whispered to the sun slowly making its way to the horizon.

“Himari?”

A chill ran up Himari’s back. She whirled around, face to face with Tomoe’s big dumb, incredibly handsome (even when covered in sweat) face. The bassist whipped down to her phone. The message was still unsent. “H-How did you get up here?”

“I got a key from Ran,” Tomoe held a key dangling from a little bread bun keychain with a confused expression, “How did you get up here?”

“Moca gave me one,” Himari held up her match key on its guitar keychain. “I was going to text you.”

“I was gonna text you too,” Tomoe moved forward. “I guess we can wait?”

“Wait?” Himari forgot how breathing worked as Tomoe stepped beside her.

Tomoe reclined against the railing, smiling so casually at Himari that her heart mistook it for affection and rocketed off. “For sunset.”

Why sunset, Tomoe? Himari desperately wanted to ask. Everything important for Afterglow happened at sunset, half intention, half coincidence. Could she— Himari hurriedly buried her hope. It wasn’t worth the heartbreak for a couple of minutes of maybe. The bassist pulled herself away from those promising blue eyes. “Okay.” But on the other hand, sunset was still their same as always. And Himari wanted things to be the same. “It’ll only be a few minutes.

“Mmm.”

Even with her gaze focused in front of her, Himari could feel Tomoe beside her. She could feel the heat always radiating off Tomoe’s body, hear the rumble of her voice rising from the center of her chest, smell that mix of sweat and shitty shampoo— use better shampoo Tomoe you’re a girl too— and Himari almost said that last part out loud but when she turned to say it, Tomoe was looking at her. Himari only saw herself reflected in those eyes. She was the only thing Tomoe could see.

And Himari couldn’t do this. She couldn’t live through one more minute like this.

_ It’s Moca-chan’s sure fire way to make things okay!_ Moca’s singsong voice rang through Himari’s head.

“Himari, I don’t want to wait for sunset.”

It didn’t really matter what Tomoe wanted, sunset was coming anyway. The red-pink light was just about to hit them.

“I need to tell you something.”

Was Tomoe seriously going to tell Himari she wasn’t in love again? Seriously?! An anti-confession on the roof at sunset? Himari wasn’t sure she could keep from diving off the rooftop to avoid hearing it all over.

_ Hii-chan~ ask her~ _But there was a devil on her shoulder that loved bread and causing trouble and the angel on the other side was in front of her instead. _Ask her~ _Moca wasn’t a genius for nothing.

“Tomoe!” Himari startled herself with her own sudden shout.

_Just one question!_

Tomoe’s head tilted. “What’s going on Himari?”

_Everything will be okay!_

“Can…”

_Moca-chan will root for you! _

“Can I...”

_Good luck Hii-chan!_

“Can I touch your boob?”

* * *

Tomoe Udagawa could safely say she did not see that question coming. She’d imagined every possible confession scenario on her sprint to school but none of them had anticipated Himari asking to cop a feel. Her mouth fell into a confused oval, “uh.”

Himari’s embarrassment was clear but she remained resolved, “You touched mine. So it’s only fair! If I touch your boob we’ll be even!”

There was some, odd, logic to that. Tomoe hesitated, it seemed important to Himari, for whatever reason. The light of the sunset started to cover the two of them, the things that mattered always happened at sunset. So… “Okay.”

They turned to face each other away from the railing. With an unsure hand Himari reached for Tomoe, then stopped. Her hand was poised centimeters from Tomoe’s chest. Sweat began to pool at the ridge of her forehead as she clearly tried to psych herself up to close the gap. Tomoe was just about ready to push her chest forward herself, just to get it over with, when Himari finally let her hand press around Tomoe’s right breast, like fitting a bolt into a slot. Romantic. It wasn’t exactly the tender touch of a lover, more the confused squeeze of a bewildered teenager.

There wasn’t much to the sensation. Tomoe couldn’t feel the hand on her chest as anything more than a dull pressure. But her thundering heart made sure she was excruciatingly aware of it. Tomoe had never been a terribly self-conscious person but this was shooting right to the top of the most embarrassing moments of her life.

Himari’s fingers squeezed around Tomoe in what could only be called a grope. “Um… so…” The two wore matching shades of sunset on their faces. How long would it take for them to be even? Tomoe’s accidental grab had been more of a momentary brush then whatever this was.

“I-I guess we’re even,” Himari’s voice wavered as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. Whatever she’d been looking for in Tomoe’s chest, she hadn’t found it.

But Tomoe still had something to say. The drummer clasped her hand around Himari’s wrist, locking them in place, “Himari. I’m so sorry.”

“No, um… please, I know what you’re going to say...” But Himari fell silent when she met Tomoe’s resolute gaze. Green eyes watched blue for some sort of sign.

“I tried thinking of something cool to say on my way here. With metaphors and stuff. But… I forgot all of it when I saw you,” Tomoe breathed deep. “I’m so sorry. I really hurt you, didn’t I? I guess, I really hurt me too. I didn’t get it for a while, and then I didn’t want to get it. I was so worried about everyone else.” Tomoe shook her head, “Nah. I was scared.”

So scared she’d managed to miss the most obvious thing in the world.

“I was confused, ‘cause I don’t know what it’s like to fall in love. But I don’t know what it’s like to fall in love because I’ve always been in love with you.”

Tomoe let Himari’s hand fall away. Himari clasped her hand over her mouth and made some, indicipherable noise.

“Himari?”

“Me too!” Himari’s voice burst out from between her fingers. “I love you too. Of course I love you too!”

And Himari Uehara, right on cue, began to cry big, fat, happy tears.

Slowly, one muscle at a time, a grin so wide it’d be painful if it wasn’t so wonderful filled Tomoe’s face. She followed her heart and jumped forward, looping her arms around Himari’s waist and pulling the short girl into her chest. “Himari!” All at once her instincts took over and she lifted Himari up, spinning them both around, drenched in red-pink sunset.

“T-Tomoe!”

Once around.

“Himari!”

Twice around.

“He he he.”

“Ha ha ha”

And on the third time around, distracted by laughter and happiness and everything joyful on that sunset colored roof they stumbled, falling into a giggling pile on top of the roof. It didn’t matter, they’d mind the bruises later.

Himari clung to the collar of Tomoe’s wrinkled shirt, laughing and crying in equal parts. Her body fit snuggly onto Tomoe’s lap but Tomoe didn’t feel any of the self-awareness she had before. She only felt right, that this was what was meant be. That this person on her lap, in her arms, that this living breathing wonderful person right here was so right. So Himari.

And Himari was soaking tears through Tomoe’s shirt as she had before and would again.

And Tomoe held Himari and stroked her back as she had done before and would again.

And when Himari’s hiccuping subsided, she looked at Tomoe, and Tomoe looked at her, and they kissed as they had before and would again.

It wasn’t their first kiss. It wouldn’t be their last kiss. But it was as special as all the ones that came before and that the ones yet to come.

And there on the rooftop they were Tomoe and Himari, as they had always been. As they always would be.

* * *

**Epilogue**

“So the long and short of it is, we’re dating now.” Tomoe tugged Himari closer across the cheap red linoleum seats of Afterglow’s favorite family diner. With bated breath, they watched their best friends across the table.

“Oh wow~ Moca-chan could never have guessed,” Moca slapped her cheeks in a weak attempt to feign surprise. Ran’s look of dull surprise beside Moca was hardly better.

“Come on,” Himari whined, “You could at least be a little shocked.” She dejectedly munched a french fry.

“I’m so happy for you two!” Tsugumi smiled brightly.

“Thanks Tsugu. That’s what I wanted to hear.”

“Wow, after all that advice I gave you? Ran, our daughter is so ungrateful,” Moca sniffed.

“Moca your advice advice was awful!”

"Ah ha ha, but didn't it break the tension? Nothing is too serious when a boob is being touched," Moca said as if it was the wisdom of the ages and not the dumbest thing any of them had ever heard. 

Ran jabbed a sharp elbow into Moca's side then turned to the new couple, her natural scowl melting into a smile, “I’m happy for you too.”

“That means a lot Ran,” Tomoe felt like they’d come to the end of a long journey.

“But if you stay late after practice to make out you have to shut the door.”

Himari choked on her french fry, “Tomoe what is she talking about.”

“N-Nothing important.”

Tap tap tap. Moca stood up, flicking her plastic cup with her fork then holding the soda aloft, “A toast to Tomo-chin and Hii-chan!” She reached for the zipper of her hoodie. “May they always live their _breast_ life.”

Tomoe and Himari looked to each other to confirm they’d heard the same worrying thing.

ZZZZZZIP. Moca pulled down her zipper revealing the white t-shirt underneath. Emblazoned across the top of the shirt was written in childish calligraphy: “She touched the titty!” Underneath was a crude, but very identifiable, stick figure with light pink hair coping a g-rated feel off a stick figure with a blazing red mane.

It took a long moment before Tomoe could even process what she was looking at.

It did not take Himari that long, “HOW?! We got together YESTERDAY!”

Moca tsked, “Frequent customers can overnight bulk orders.”

“B-Bulk orders?!”

Ran bashfully shrugged off her own hoodie as Tsugumi cheerfully pulled off her sweater revealing their matching t-shirts.

“E-even Tsugu!” Tomoe was shocked.

“Tsugu’s the one who got a local artist to recreate the magic moment. Maybe you’ve heard of this little known artist: Kokoro Tsurumaki.”

Tsugu grinned sheepishly, “I asked Kokoro-chan if she wanted to help. She was very enthusiastic.”

“W-wait that’s only three shirts. That’s not a bulk order,” Himari pointed accusingly.

“Of course I got Hii-chan and Tomo-chin shirts,” Moca pulled two shirts from her bag and handed them over.

“Oh neat, thanks Moca,” Tomoe held the shirt up, just the right size. Wait, how did Moca know her shirt size?

“Five is still not bulk! MOCA!”

Moca looked off in the distance, “Moca-chan had to thank everyone who’s helped get our beloved couple to this point. I mean, these are commemorative t-shirts, they’ll be worth a lot one day. Of course, I gave one to Kokoro for her artistic talent, and to HaroHapi so they can appreciate her work.”

“And then Seta-senpai wanted a dozen more for some reason,” Ran picked up where Moca left off, “and Hina-senpai found out, so she wanted some and then she gave one to Lisa-senpai. And they passed them out to their bands.”

“And then we gave some to Poppin’ Party ‘cause you can’t leave Poppin’ Party out. That would just be rude,” Moca nodded sagely.

“So everyone,” Tomoe sighed with some amusement, “Everyone has one.”

“Oh and Marina as a bribe so she’ll never look in the door,” Ran looked directly at Tomoe.

“You guys!” Himari groaned and turned to her girlfriend. Despite their mutual embarrassment, they couldn’t keep from smiling. It was a new normal, but it was still normal.

“Ooo is Hii-chan gonna cry?” Moca collapsed back into her seat, throughly pleased with herself.

“No way!” Himari huffed, “I’m all cried out now. This is a whole new Himari! No more crying.”

“Only I’m allowed to make my girlfriend cry,” Tomoe crossed her arms and nodded proudly.

Ran smiled despite herself, “That’s not half as cool as you think it is.”

* * *

After another hour of splitting a single entree and two sodas between five people, Afterglow finally pulled themselves away from each other. They waved goodbye at their usual intersection, Moca proudly displaying her new T-shirt, Ran trying to keep some dignity intact between them and Tsugumi, as always, just happy to be there. And then Himari and Tomoe were alone, walking side by side down an empty street, their hands already naturally falling into one another.

“All things considered, I think we got off pretty light,” Tomoe laughed. The scratchy cotton of the t-shirt slung over her shoulder rubbed her neck. “I knew Moca would do something but these T-shirts aren’t too bad.”

“Why did I take her advice? I should never take Moca’s advice,” Himari grumbled.

“Hey, it all worked out,” Tomoe shrugged and tugged Himari in closer, “What’s a little Moca teasing? It’s how she says I love you.”

“She could just use words.”

“Speaking of,” Tomoe looked down at Himari’s curious face, “I love you.”

Himari giggled with a pleasantly embarrassed blush, “Tomoe. I lo— wait!”

“Wait?”

“I just realized, today’s the first day you’ve been my girlfriend the whole day!”

“Hmm?” Tomoe hummed curiously.

“Yeah!” Himari buzzed excitedly, swinging their joined hands, “I woke up and you’re my girlfriend, I’ll go to sleep and you’re my girlfriend too! It’s the real day one.”

“Woah. That’s totally true!”

“And tomorrow will be day two! And then day three! And four and—”

Tomoe chuckled, “how long are you going to keep counting?”

“Always!” Himari added in a small voice, “I’ll never stop counting.”

They stopped walking. Tomoe’s heart had felt full to the brim for an entire day now. She wondered what would happen if all the love inside it spilled over the edge. Everytime she looked at Himari, she felt like it just might. Tomoe leaned down just a little to—

“Huh? What’s that?”

Tomoe turned, following Himari’s pointing finger to the sky. A plane flew through the air leaving a trail of smoke in it’s wake. In looping letters the word “congrats” emerged from it’s tail. “That’s funny, I wonder what...”

“Is that the Tsurumaki seal on the side?”

The plane kept flying on, drawing one large circle in the sky, and then a second one parallel to the first.

“Oh. My. God. T-there’s no way,” Himari stammered.

And then the plane ended with a foggy perpendicular squiggle, just overlapping with the right circle. A cloudy hand grasping at at a fluffy treasure.

The reality of their situation finally dawned on Tomoe, “Moca is never going to let us live this down.”

A hollowed look entered Himari’s eyes, “We’re going to be hiding boob themed new year’s cards from our grandkids, aren’t we?”

“G-grandkids!”

Himari’s eyes widened in light panic, “I—”

“Nah, you’re right,” Tomoe smile, easing the panic off Himari’s face. She wrapped her arm around Himari’s shoulder, “so, we’ve got along time to figure out how to get her back.”

“That’s right! It’s two versus one now Moca!”

“We’re unstoppable!”

“Next time you’ll cry! Cause our prank’s just that good Moca!” Himari nestled into Tomoe’s shoulder as they watched their national embarrassment fade away into vapor. “Hey Tomoe?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

“Same as always.”

“Same as always!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna cry, I can't believe I finished this story. Thank you so much to everyone who's read this far, especially to all the wonderful people who commented, you really kept me going when I found myself stuck. Of course, it's never too late to comment, I'll turn that energy into more stories! Ha.
> 
> I started writing a version of this back in august, the whole concept was "Tomoe and Himari are the sort of people who wouldn't think making out counts between friends until a boob gets touched." But somewhere along the line, I think because of some of the other one-shots I started writing, I realized I wanted to take them seriously, I wanted to treat this kind of ridiculous situation seriously. I'm glad I did. I'm not quite the writer I want to be. But I'm proud of what I've written. I really hope you were able to enjoy it. 
> 
> The thing that surprised me the most about writing this story was realizing just how much Afterglow loves each other. They just want to stay together... I think that'll probably be part of whatever I write next. I can't promise what it'll be or when it'll be but I hope you join me for that story too. This has been an awful lot of fun and I kind of can't wait to do it again. 
> 
> And most of all thank you for reading. Thank you very much for reading.


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